Surrender

Nikos Kazantzakis prays this prayer:

"I am a bow in your hands, Lord. Draw me, lest I rot. Do not overdraw me, Lord, I shall break. Overdraw me, Lord, and who cares if I break?"

It's a prayer of abandonment and surrender.  But I find myself unable to pray it.

I want to be Drawn but not Overdrawn.  Tested but not Broken.

Who cares if I break?  I care; my family cares.  I have met too many broken people to pray that prayer lightly - or to risk praying that prayer at all.

A broken bow seems unfit for further use.  Can an arrow be shot from a broken bow?  Will it not simply sit in a corner gathering dust, to those who look on it, a constant reminder of past usefulness and present futility?

The voices of "self-care" surround me: don't let others break you; look after yourself; run a marathon, not a sprint.

And yet... do we not worship a Crucified God? Bruised, rejected, crushed, broken.  A Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.  Was it the Pharisees who crucified Him, or the Roman soldiers, or the Jewish crowd?  Was it not God His Father who broke His Son?  If others break me, does the hand of God lie behind their actions?

And if in the breaking of Jesus we see true wholeness, can God not break me and still use me?  What if God breaks me and doesn't use me?  Dare I trust Him?  Dare I abandon myself to God and pray the prayer of Nikos Kazantzakis?

If you enjoyed this article, or found it interesting, vote for it at  PlugRug so others can read it as well.

Comments

[beth]

We can be broken a thousand times over because we are not wood or stone, but living flesh. Broken people aren't hammered back together but healed. We can be broken a thousand times over and Jesus will heal us a thousand times.
Do take care. Do run a marathon. Do take plenty of drinks of life giving water along the way...I do not wish breaking on anyone.
But sometimes all the self care and care from those around who would protect doesn't prevent us being overdrawn and broken.It's not just a matter of us being wise and careful enough, taking holidays, praying, having good boundaries. Telling a pastor to stay safe is like sending a letter to the children of Baghdad in 2003 telling them to stay safe - living in a war Zone. Brokenness encroaches. There is no need to pray that prayer.
I do not believe that destruction comes from the hand of God. But I do believe that no amount of brokenness is beyond his capacity for grace and love and healing.
Jesus breaks bread to feed his broken people. He breaks his own body for the world. If we are his body, will we not be broken and poured out for the sake of the world? And though we shed bloody tears of desperation as we feel it impending like Jesus did, the cruciform body of Christ becomes the resurrection body. Our brokenness leads to more than healing...to resurrection.

This is a little song I wrote about breaking hearts in 2003

O my heart, why do you fear
when God is in his heaven
O my heart why do you fear
His Spirit you've been given
Death is dead
the sting is stung
fear's afraid
the war is won
The king of life's alive
Jesus is Risen

And my heart why do you fear to ache
for the lost when Jesus is your strength
And my heart why do you fear and quake
at how the world is turning
And my heart why do you fear to break
when Jesus is the wounded healer or hearts
Jesus take me apart

O my heart why do you fear when you see this world crumbling
It's only this world dying as the new kingdom is coming
Death is dead
the sting is stung
fear's afraid
the war is won
The king of life's alive
Jesus is Risen

[Jon]

Great post David. I find nothing more comforting than the absolute sovereignty of God. Knowing that He is in ultimate control of all things, doing all things for good.

I am also reminded of a quote from one of Spurgeon's sermons:

"I believe that every particle of dust that dances in the sunbeam does not move an atom more or less than God wishes—that every particle of spray that dashes against the steamboat has its orbit as well as the sun in the heavens—that the chaff from the hand of the winnower is steered as the stars in their courses. The creeping of an aphid over the rosebud is as much fixed as the march of the devastating pestilence—the fall of sear leaves from a poplar is as fully ordained as the tumbling of an avalanche."

(Charles Spurgeon, ‘God's Providence’, sermon on Ezekiel 1:15-19, 1908.)

[Don]

"...who cares if I break?"

The answer to this question is, GOD CARES.

I love these words from 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 [THE MESSAGE] "We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best!"

I used the "Looking for Meaningful Answers?" search engine in the right hand column of this website typing in the word "broken" and came across this very good article, part of which I quote below.

"The suffering Christian’s experience may seem as though it will break us, but as intense as it may be, God never allows such intense suffering that it defeats or destroys us, or defeats what God purposes to accomplish through it. By means of suffering, we, God’s “clay pots,” are broken, so that the glorious light of the gospel and the power of God are evident. In the midst of our brokenness, it may appear that our suffering will utterly defeat and destroy us, but this is not true. Paul assures us in verses 8 and 9 that no matter what our affliction may be, and no matter how severe, God will not allow us to be destroyed by it. The Christian is afflicted in every way (verse 8), suffering the full orb of afflictions of mankind. In the context, it seems that our affliction arises from our status as Christians, who profess and proclaim Christ. Paul enumerates four forms of intense suffering; each followed by an assurance that our affliction will not result in complete failure or destruction. (1) afflicted — but not crushed; (2) perplexed — but not despairing; (3) persecuted — but not forsaken; (4) struck down — but not destroyed."

Author: Bob Deffinbaugh,
Source: http://www.bible.org/page.php?page_id=1218